This plant has driven me down a giant rabbit hole and is making me insane. Please help. I recently learned some of the proper grass plant ID features and still am unable to identify this nuisance plant. I'm not 100% sure that it's not just some type of awful turfgrass, but I find it offensive and I want it all dead. At some point I was fairly convinced it was rye, then Triv after reading a thread on here from 2020? However I am no longer convinced since I potted a few up to allow them to grow out some seed heads. Here are the attributes I am seeing:
Leaves:
-Dark green in color (not a bad thing)
-glossy/waxy underside of leaves
-veins down the length of the leaf blade and I believe it constitutes a visible midrib unless that is just the folded center sort of form of the leaf and not considered a midrib. It's not a broad midrib like KBG, but there's a clear line down the center from where it was folded
-folded vernation (crease persists but a cross sectional slice was taken with fresh razor to confirm.
-keeled/boat-tail tips
-larger leaves off tillers can be upto 4-4.5mm in width at the stem reaching 4-4.5" in length with 3-4" spacing between leaves
-tough leaves and stalks fray no matter how sharp rotary mower blade is, requires reel mowing to look less terrible/obvious
-no visible hairs.
Seed head: spike or sort of quack grass like? That may just be spike.
-perennial
-tillers? have thick terrible feeling stalks when growing upright.
-in spring the stalks were visibly reddened on the upper sides with extensively lateral growth.
-believed to be bunch type. no rhizome spread found after searching somewhat extensively, but possible stoloniferous spread.
-membranous ligule, I believe it is considered short.
-auricle: I'm unsure but definitely not very-clasping? If you put a gun to my head I would have to go with Absent.
-Grows bulging nodes along the seed spikes like little node elbows. Not sure if that's important or helpful.
Please help me LawnForum, you're my only hope (for sanity)
Leaves:
-Dark green in color (not a bad thing)
-glossy/waxy underside of leaves
-veins down the length of the leaf blade and I believe it constitutes a visible midrib unless that is just the folded center sort of form of the leaf and not considered a midrib. It's not a broad midrib like KBG, but there's a clear line down the center from where it was folded
-folded vernation (crease persists but a cross sectional slice was taken with fresh razor to confirm.
-keeled/boat-tail tips
-larger leaves off tillers can be upto 4-4.5mm in width at the stem reaching 4-4.5" in length with 3-4" spacing between leaves
-tough leaves and stalks fray no matter how sharp rotary mower blade is, requires reel mowing to look less terrible/obvious
-no visible hairs.
Seed head: spike or sort of quack grass like? That may just be spike.
-perennial
-tillers? have thick terrible feeling stalks when growing upright.
-in spring the stalks were visibly reddened on the upper sides with extensively lateral growth.
-believed to be bunch type. no rhizome spread found after searching somewhat extensively, but possible stoloniferous spread.
-membranous ligule, I believe it is considered short.
-auricle: I'm unsure but definitely not very-clasping? If you put a gun to my head I would have to go with Absent.
-Grows bulging nodes along the seed spikes like little node elbows. Not sure if that's important or helpful.
Please help me LawnForum, you're my only hope (for sanity)
