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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I'd like to start a thread where we can speak freely and without reserve about the parasites and villains commonly referred to as weeds. All forms of hate speech against weeds is protected here as we openly plot the genocide of these devils.

What are your top most hated weeds and why? Here's mine,

3. Crabgrass - Notoriously annoying. Will send out seeds as soon as it knows you're not looking. Especially terroristic in St. Augustine lawns because of its ability to blend in. Crabgrass also laughs off many herbicides. This weed is widely believed to have been developed by the Soviet Union after WWII and introduced into the Southern United Stated in a communist plot to undermine national morale. The only good crabgrass is a dead crabgrass.

2. Dallisgrass - The most offensive weed known to exist. It's seed heads resemble a hairy middle finger shooting out from a balled first on the ground as it taunts you . This weed's leaves form the Eye of Sauron on top of the ground that serves as an inter-dimensional portal by which Satan enters into this realm to promote evil. Dallisgrass was developed by the Nazi's in the early 1940's as a psychological weapon and hijacked by the big box home-improvement stores in conjunction with the CIA in the 60's to drive revenue for the store's lawn chemicals (declassified.) These crimes against humanity continue as the EPA continues to suppress chemical technology that is effective against Dallisgrass as they oppress for oppression's sake, and centralize and monopolize incredible lawns until they are legal to possess only for the government and its special interests.

1. Nutsedge - It's now known that Adam and Eve were driven from the Garden of Eden because of a severe nutsedge infestation. Nutsedge is the result of poor soil conditions and drainage, along with poor personal life choices manifested. This weed grows upwards from its source at the very core of the earth, where it resides at the right hand of Baphomet. Nutsedge brought down Alexander the Great, the Roman Empire, and the Qing Dynasty. Just like the CIA was caught bringing crack into the inner cities to finance their operations, Gowan USA is a CIA front group that supplies Sedgehammer to US citizens as desperate lawn care enthusiasts resort to low-level crime to finance their lawn wars. According to 97% of scientists, nutsedge both causes and exacerbates global warming.

Honorable mention. Rescue grass - This shameless weed hides its seed heads like Bernie Madoff hides his financial records, through deceit and misdirection. Sending seeds sometimes dozens of centimeters from the center of the plant, this weed was added to George W. Bush's "Axis of Evil" list after 9/11. Towards the End of WWII, Harry Truman had the tip of Fat Boy seeded with Resuegrass before it was dropped on Nagasaki. The seeds not only survived the impact and detonation but were germinated the next day by air moisture and its own willpower. The only cure for Rescue grass is seasteading.

What do y'all think is the worst weed?
 

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Bunnysarefat said:
What do y'all think is the worst weed?
Bermuda.

Crabgrass is a lightweight, a pre-emergent will take care of 99% of it and quinclorac will quickly kill the rest. Nutsedge is annoying because it's persistent, but is easy to fight with sulfentrazone. Dallisgrass is indeed a PITA, mostly because MSMA is no longer around.

Oh wait, this is in the warm season grass forum . Oops :lol:

Edit: but even you folks don't like common Bermuda right? :thumbup:
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
j4c11 said:
Bunnysarefat said:
What do y'all think is the worst weed?
Bermuda.
Watch yourself Yankee.. I suppose Common Bermuda does have its place and purpose. That being for road-side ground cover when we colonize the moon.

You'd think someone would come out with a round-up resistant hybrid Bermuda. The best way to deal with a common Bermuda infestation, I've found, is to just live in denial that there is a problem.
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
Yes Poa Annua is a homegrown terrorsit. Actually, I think a spreading Poa Annua seeds onto a neighbor's property is a hate crime in most states.
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
dfw_pilot said:
Weeds are terrible but most are easily overcome.

Bermuda Triangle
Yes, I agree. For those of us with knowledge we can handle them. My problem is, I get triggered when I see them while I'm out and about. I have post traumatic lawn disorder.
 

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I will add Hairy Bittercress to the list. It seems my neighbor's yard is primarily composed of this, thus it has now blown over into mine. I've done 2 Celsius spot treatments(at lowest rate) so far since late Feb. Next treatment will be at higher rate to finally eradicate it once and for all, in addition to anything else still trying to hold on!

Bonus: Get to use my new dfw_wand setup for it!
 

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Bunnysarefat said:
2. Dallisgrass - The most offensive weed known to exist. It's seed heads resemble a hairy middle finger shooting out from a balled first on the ground as it taunts you . This weed's leaves form the Eye of Sauron on top of the ground that serves as an inter-dimensional portal by which Satan enters into this realm to promote evil. Dallisgrass was developed by the Nazi's in the early 1940's as a psychological weapon and hijacked by the big box home-improvement stores in conjunction with the CIA in the 60's to drive revenue for the store's lawn chemicals (declassified.) These crimes against humanity continue as the EPA continues to suppress chemical technology that is effective against Dallisgrass as they oppress for oppression's sake, and centralize and monopolize incredible lawns until they are legal to possess only for the government and its special interests.
Are you a writer?
your description of dalisgrass was like a passage from the Odessy lol lol
 
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